Crossing the Rainbow Bridge

On Sunday October 20th 2019, Boodini passed peacefully and left her loved ones to a much more enriching afterlife. As a pup she went through the Katrina hurricane and was rescued in New Orleans,    to Mississippi and finally to Austin via the Lee Mannix Canine Center. About one year old I adopted her with many behavior disorders which were difficult to manage. She was obedient in commands, a good agility athlete, a great search and rescue worker. She won first in a few 5K runs in her good years. Toward her final years in was heartbreaking to watch her abilities diminish. None the less she was a survivor and would not ever give up.
 In what seems like too short of a life of 15 years, she was a loyal companion, with unconditional love. The time however does come as much as we would like to to deny, we must make the selfless decision to give back to our precious loved one that they may have freedom and dignity. Everyday, in every way  Boodini will be so very much missed.

A Song Writer

I can take the rain of this empty house, that doesn’t bother me. I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out. I’m not afraid to cry once in awhile. Even though going on with you gone still upsets me. There are days every now and again I pretend I’m okay, but that’s not what gets me.

What hurts the most, was being so close… and having so much to say and watching you walk away, and never knowing what could have been, and not seeing that love in you is what I was trying to do…..

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go. It’s hard to force that smile when I see old friends and I’m alone. Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with regret. But I know if I could do it over I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken.

 What hurts the most was being so close…..

The Next Right Thing

  In a series of conversations I was once again assured that we think firmly about something and we actually begin or do believe it to be true. For the most part the world is very divisive these days probably for this very reason. Once in awhile someone walks our path and they are very different. The persona they carry is glowing with admirable character, and this is developed, nurtured, practiced, after all they worked on it till it became a habit. Most will say or remember them by the fact that they were so kind, or loving to all, or any of a number of great qualities. This person is a magnet, people want to be in their company. Unfortunately  most of us believe in the lie, you know, "I'm not that good, how can I possibly reach that level of existence", etc. We all begin to accept the defeat, we stop persevering, we become despondent, we end up taking so much less. We develop nothing, we are just plain lazy, we won't or practice anything. We end up with those results, then we let everyone know what a shit hole life is. So you attract nothing, you give nothing, you just take. Look into the lives of these special few, learn to dial back the lie and live the real dream about yourself, and it will be work. Expect zero in return.

Halfback Get Off Your Dead Ass!

  Unfortunately as hard as it is to diet, exercise and just basically take better care of ourselves it usually gets combined with a nagging lack of motivation or goal orientated focus. Actually most of the population quite contrarily does not, and are left with that result. At a high school reunion it was shocking to see classmates who were pillars of athleticism now becoming grossly obese, body parts not functioning in a forward motion process, and obviously a health disaster. Passing the years I am not sure why I have been able to still knock off marathons, walk miles everyday, and be injury free. So if getting off our dead asses and performing some type of progress in spite of the lack of desire or initiative can still be overcome it definitely needs to continue. Or else, all of us will end up in the Doc's office, screaming about health care or the lack of and unable to go for that soda and chips which we so love to consume as we watch our Reality show rerun after rerun.

What To Do on The Way

   Day by day, hour by hour, man builds the character that will determine his place and standing among his associates throughout the ages. … More important than riches, more enduring than fame, more precious than happiness is the possession of a noble character. Truly it has been said that the grand aim of man’s creation is the development of a grand character, and grand character is by its very nature the product of a probationary discipline.

  There is another responsibility correlated and even coexistent with … agency, which is too infrequently emphasized, and that is the effect not only of a person’s actions, but also of his thoughts. Man radiates what he is, and that radiation affects to a greater or less[er] degree every person who comes within that radiation. Sickness may waste the body, but the true life is the spirit within, that which thinks and feels and loves and suffers and wills and chooses, aspires, and achieves. The purpose in life is to beautify, ornament, develop that something within. To develop a more radiant and lovely character is the true purpose in life.
  It is glorious when you can lie down at night with a clear conscience, knowing you have done your best not to offend anyone and have injured no man. You have tried to cleanse your heart, and if you put forth precious effort, you can sense, the realization that you have made the world better for having been in it.

The Walker

Convinced! Days when running was tedious, goals impossible to achieve, going from stationary to full body forward, running, yes becomes unworthy. Enter the one step in front of the other, no quickness necessary, just a relaxing movement with gradual increase in motion forward, enter the walker. If you warm to the walk you can jog to run if you like. Slam, Bam, thank you much, thingy of the distant past. The Walker builds everything, mile after mile till you reach the finish line and buckle to your hearts content.

Life's Been Good so Far

  Being ten years old in Port Isabel, was fun and at that age what wouldn't be. Going to South Padre everyday, running around that tiny town, puppet shows. So when the folks were sitting around watching the little RCA Victor TV with President Kennedy telling the nation we could be heading for nuclear war with the Soviets, all cause of the tiny 777mile long island of Cuba, it just went over the top of my head.
   I didn't really get the anxiousness of being disintegrated. I don't think I was really effected. Now as an old person, everything seems to get my feathers ruffled. No water rolling off this duck's back. Even years ago things seemed a lot easier, more nonchalant. Why the hell do I have to suddenly flip the switch to freak out mode? Well it's just not fitting, treating old fart's like this.

  Don't feed the beast! Wasting too much time comparing, losing yourself despairing, you hear it, don't you, are you hungry for your fight?
  So why do you care if life is unfair, just because they've got everything you wanted. That's right your not even close, to getting where you wish you could be. You wanted to be farther along than you are, but here you are on your knees.
 Are you happy, well be happy with your place! What's the use in being haunted, your story for glory, it's right there in your face.
  So be glad, you're an architect creation, your one of kind. Just stay on track, because every cross can be a blessing. All the gifts that you've been given, close your eyes and listen to what your meant to be.

Olga's Rainbow

I heard the sound of voices in the night
Spellbound there was someone calling
I looked around no one was in sight
Pulled down I just kept on falling

I've seen this place before
You were standing by my side
I've seen your face before tonight
Maybe I just see what I want it to be

I know it's a mystery
Do you remember me on a Trail of Dreams
Running through my memory
On the Trail of Dreams

There you stood a distant memory
So good like we never parted
Said to myself I knew you'd set me free
And here we are right back where we started

Something's come over me
And I don't know what to feel
Maybe this fantasy is real
Now I know I see what I want it to be

But it's still a mystery
Do you remember me on the Trail of Dreams
Running through my memory
On the Trail of Dreams

Knowing every face I see on the Trail of Dreams
When will we ever meet again my friend, never know who you'll see
Do you know what it meant to be
You can be who you want to be
you are calling me
On the Trail of Dreams

JW

Well you know,
I was always the first to arrive at the party, ooh
And the last to leave the scene of the crime
Well it started with a couple of beers,
And it went I don't know how many years,
Like a runaway train headed for the end of the line

Well I finally got around to admit that I might have a problem
But I thought it was just too damn big of a mountain to climb
Well I got down on my knees and said hey
I just cant go on livin' this way
Guess I have to learn to live my life one day at a time

Well I finally got around to admit that I was the problem

When I used to put the blame on everybody's shoulders but mine
All the friends I used to run with are gone,
Lord, I hadn't planned on livin' this long
But I finally learned to live my life one day at a time