Alice

  Bury me softly in this womb, I give this part of me for you, sand rains down and here I sit. Holding rare flowers in a tomb in bloom. Down in hole and I don't know if I can be saved. See my heart I decorate like a grave, oh, you don't understand who they thought I was supposed to be, Look at me now I'm a man who won't let himself be. Down in hole feeling so small, losing my soul. I'd like to fly, but my wings have been so denied. They've put all the stones in their place, I've eaten the sun so my tongue has been burned of the taste. I've been guilty of kicking myself in the teeth, I will speak no more of my feelings beneath.
   Whatsoever I've feared has come to life, whatsoever I've fought off became my life. Just when everyday seemed to greet me with a smile, sunspots have faded and now I'm doing time. Whomever I've cured, I've sickened now, and whomever I've cradled, I've put down. I'm a search light soul they say, but I can't see the night. I'm only faking when I get it right, cause I fell on black days.
   Ain't found a way to kill me yet, eyes burn with stinging sweat. seems every path leads me to nowhere. Wife and kids, household pet, army green was no safe bet, the bullets scream at me from somewhere. They've come to snuff the rooster.

Love Never Faileth

Interesting enough, Death is just a shadow on the path to heaven. We all have friends, family someone that dies everyday, guess you could say we die to ourselves. Afterlife, also is a figment of some's imagination, others a philosophy, theology, or just a notion. Graveyards are a place people are dying to get in to. Usually after the Lamp race I head to Kempner, there's a graveyard up the farm to market road that has the other side of my family's  tombstones. Nevertheless when I arrived I was amazed at how the family tree had new arrivals and grown. Yes sure enough life is fleeting, and grabbing for the gusto depends on a state of mind. One thing for sure, twenty five years from now we'll never know the difference. Happy running!

Rick's Run

Mister J has done a great job of keeping Rick's memorial run alive. So when he suggested the 10K up the road it was almost unanimously accepted, except for one who remarked it inappropriate for no other reason than to be contentious. It was a tough hilly road deal with very rudimentary mgmt. mistakes. But whatever, it provided for all of us to walk away with something, a memory, a place medal, a red spirit shirt, a communion. Maybe next year I'll need a walker as Hero foretold, or maybe I'll get a sherpa to push me in a ricksha. Happy Hot July!

Going Long

Got all sixteen drops bags packed, had to stay up till 2am to get it together right. Drop bags have always been a tough job. Now in the morning since the run mgmt doesn't bring out your bags I'll shuffle through the course dropping them off every half mile, hope I didn't forget anything. Everyone put their shirt size on their entry form but here the race director goes emailing everyone for their shirt size, and to top it all off a runner is highly angry and agressive they are not having misters on the course. Wow! I don't even think they have aid stations with water, oh well, I packed a 5 gal jug with all my bags. See how it all stacks up tomorrow. No EMS?

Heaven... Can It Wait?

A friend remarked that hopefully it wasn't to late for heaven. Knowing their stance on spiritual issues it was odd, and figuring there was no discussion to be had as any time before, I remarked " Well that's  up to you". Let's approach it from a place I know, myself. Heaven is there but you just don't get to go there, like most things in this world it requires a few preambles. If I just didn't believe in the Heaven concept, making myself either agnostic, which is nothing more than a fence sitter who really is too lazy to make up their mind or content with their lukewarm life, or an atheist. Either way if that was me I would begin the Mardi Gras state of mind everyday of my life, and why not, after all this would be it right? All my friends and family that have died, are no better than below the earth, never to be seen again, and truthfully in that believe that is exactly where I would be headed. Time to just do whatever I wanted. Then you might ask what is heaven, to me it represents the reunion of friendship and love for one another, it will require a relationship. A state of being that isn't interrupted by a bad connection, free from loneliness and want. If it wasn't why bother. But that is the deal, you have to have friendship and it is forever, a relationship that you've put a little work in too. That is how you get in, you actually leave introversion and go beyond into union. As I said before " Well that's up to you".

Over the Hill

He gets up before the dawn, grabs his pack and shoots down his coffee. It's Western 100 race day as he's climbing devil's thumb down to another canyon. Those burning rays are wearing down his body. The 100 miler's bucket is worth the price of gold, always a struggle that never goes easy. But he's still holding on. He just takes the trail another round, climbing up and going down the other side of the mountain, and sends up another prayer. He say's Lord, I never complain, I never ask why, please don't let my dreams run dry, underneath this ultrarunning sky. That Leadville DNF back in 01 sure did a toll on his vision. But he stayed strong and carried on. The very next year he slammed, not just 4 but all 5, and stayed stealth in the shadows. On his knees every night he prays please let my friends and me keep running, cause that's all we've ever known.
He just takes the trail another round, watching ridge and valley passing by running towards the beautiful distance, and sends up another pray. He always says, Lord I never complain, I never ask why, please don't let my dreams run dry, underneath that ultra running sky.

Eat A Bullet Cause The Hole Can't Be Filled!

The world is a vampire, sent to drain
Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames
And what do I get for all my pain?
Betrayed desires and a piece of the game
Even though I know I suppose I'll show
All my cool and cold like old Job
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage!!!!!