Nothing But Daylight!

Boodini is like one of those deep issues of the heart like so many such, one can never forget, why would you let go of another living life memory, after all this world is nothing but heaven and hell. Who doesn't have a share in the good, bad and not so much. So we move forward, haunting, telling, silent wind blowing in the early morning dawn, and the beautiful blazing maud sunset, blasting the sky with celestrial stars.

II’m all alone in the rainfall

hear my name call

I look up but there's no one around

The sky is wild and the wind blows

I'm out my window

Trying to fly but I keep falling down

I will never have that dream again

If I do I'll just get up and then

Sure as the sun will rise

I'll be there by your side

Till the end of time

I live my life, where it takes me

I'm what it makes me

I get up but I keep falling down

Keep falling down

The blinding light silhouettes me

I try to get free

So I run but I keep falling down

I will never have that dream again

If I do I'll just get up and then

Sure as the sun will rise

I'll be there by your side

Till the end of time

And every night I close my eyes

I hear the voices calling

Don't try to hide, don't try to fight

It's only sleep, it's just a dream

And you're not really falling

Get up and try to live your life

I live my life, where it takes me

I'm what it makes me

All Things Pass......

Looking Back Looking Forward Boodini

 Time has not flown by, and many circumstances have completely changed. It has been one year, an anniversary of major disruption to what was a journey. Boodini rests on the other side and I am here now. 

It had a been a year since our normal dog Sadie left us, and I had a flyer that a person gave me cause they said I needed a running partner, a dog. After an agreement from the home front, I sent the adoption papers in.  As we sat in the living room going through the prelims, I set the gatorade bottle half filled with kibble and watched as Boodini pawed it over and ate the spilled food. I never felt fear although this was a lethal combination for her and anyone that wanted to get near her possessions. Days before leaving for Hardrock in Colorado, the better half told me that I should know that I couldn't keep this dog. I never spoke a word, and I thought once I hit the road it would all figure itself out. And so it goes. This would prove to be no Normal Dog or a Normal Journey.

Crossing the Rainbow Bridge

On Sunday October 20th 2019, Boodini passed peacefully and left her loved ones to a much more enriching afterlife. As a pup she went through the Katrina hurricane and was rescued in New Orleans,    to Mississippi and finally to Austin via the Lee Mannix Canine Center. About one year old I adopted her with many behavior disorders which were difficult to manage. She was obedient in commands, a good agility athlete, a great search and rescue worker. She won first in a few 5K runs in her good years. Toward her final years in was heartbreaking to watch her abilities diminish. None the less she was a survivor and would not ever give up.
 In what seems like too short of a life of 15 years, she was a loyal companion, with unconditional love. The time however does come as much as we would like to to deny, we must make the selfless decision to give back to our precious loved one that they may have freedom and dignity. Everyday, in every way  Boodini will be so very much missed.

A Song Writer

I can take the rain of this empty house, that doesn’t bother me. I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out. I’m not afraid to cry once in awhile. Even though going on with you gone still upsets me. There are days every now and again I pretend I’m okay, but that’s not what gets me.

What hurts the most, was being so close… and having so much to say and watching you walk away, and never knowing what could have been, and not seeing that love in you is what I was trying to do…..

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go. It’s hard to force that smile when I see old friends and I’m alone. Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with regret. But I know if I could do it over I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken.

 What hurts the most was being so close…..

The Next Right Thing

  In a series of conversations I was once again assured that we think firmly about something and we actually begin or do believe it to be true. For the most part the world is very divisive these days probably for this very reason. Once in awhile someone walks our path and they are very different. The persona they carry is glowing with admirable character, and this is developed, nurtured, practiced, after all they worked on it till it became a habit. Most will say or remember them by the fact that they were so kind, or loving to all, or any of a number of great qualities. This person is a magnet, people want to be in their company. Unfortunately  most of us believe in the lie, you know, "I'm not that good, how can I possibly reach that level of existence", etc. We all begin to accept the defeat, we stop persevering, we become despondent, we end up taking so much less. We develop nothing, we are just plain lazy, we won't or practice anything. We end up with those results, then we let everyone know what a shit hole life is. So you attract nothing, you give nothing, you just take. Look into the lives of these special few, learn to dial back the lie and live the real dream about yourself, and it will be work. Expect zero in return.

Halfback Get Off Your Dead Ass!

  Unfortunately as hard as it is to diet, exercise and just basically take better care of ourselves it usually gets combined with a nagging lack of motivation or goal orientated focus. Actually most of the population quite contrarily does not, and are left with that result. At a high school reunion it was shocking to see classmates who were pillars of athleticism now becoming grossly obese, body parts not functioning in a forward motion process, and obviously a health disaster. Passing the years I am not sure why I have been able to still knock off marathons, walk miles everyday, and be injury free. So if getting off our dead asses and performing some type of progress in spite of the lack of desire or initiative can still be overcome it definitely needs to continue. Or else, all of us will end up in the Doc's office, screaming about health care or the lack of and unable to go for that soda and chips which we so love to consume as we watch our Reality show rerun after rerun.

What To Do on The Way

   Day by day, hour by hour, man builds the character that will determine his place and standing among his associates throughout the ages. … More important than riches, more enduring than fame, more precious than happiness is the possession of a noble character. Truly it has been said that the grand aim of man’s creation is the development of a grand character, and grand character is by its very nature the product of a probationary discipline.

  There is another responsibility correlated and even coexistent with … agency, which is too infrequently emphasized, and that is the effect not only of a person’s actions, but also of his thoughts. Man radiates what he is, and that radiation affects to a greater or less[er] degree every person who comes within that radiation. Sickness may waste the body, but the true life is the spirit within, that which thinks and feels and loves and suffers and wills and chooses, aspires, and achieves. The purpose in life is to beautify, ornament, develop that something within. To develop a more radiant and lovely character is the true purpose in life.
  It is glorious when you can lie down at night with a clear conscience, knowing you have done your best not to offend anyone and have injured no man. You have tried to cleanse your heart, and if you put forth precious effort, you can sense, the realization that you have made the world better for having been in it.

The Walker

Convinced! Days when running was tedious, goals impossible to achieve, going from stationary to full body forward, running, yes becomes unworthy. Enter the one step in front of the other, no quickness necessary, just a relaxing movement with gradual increase in motion forward, enter the walker. If you warm to the walk you can jog to run if you like. Slam, Bam, thank you much, thingy of the distant past. The Walker builds everything, mile after mile till you reach the finish line and buckle to your hearts content.

Life's Been Good so Far

  Being ten years old in Port Isabel, was fun and at that age what wouldn't be. Going to South Padre everyday, running around that tiny town, puppet shows. So when the folks were sitting around watching the little RCA Victor TV with President Kennedy telling the nation we could be heading for nuclear war with the Soviets, all cause of the tiny 777mile long island of Cuba, it just went over the top of my head.
   I didn't really get the anxiousness of being disintegrated. I don't think I was really effected. Now as an old person, everything seems to get my feathers ruffled. No water rolling off this duck's back. Even years ago things seemed a lot easier, more nonchalant. Why the hell do I have to suddenly flip the switch to freak out mode? Well it's just not fitting, treating old fart's like this.

  Don't feed the beast! Wasting too much time comparing, losing yourself despairing, you hear it, don't you, are you hungry for your fight?
  So why do you care if life is unfair, just because they've got everything you wanted. That's right your not even close, to getting where you wish you could be. You wanted to be farther along than you are, but here you are on your knees.
 Are you happy, well be happy with your place! What's the use in being haunted, your story for glory, it's right there in your face.
  So be glad, you're an architect creation, your one of kind. Just stay on track, because every cross can be a blessing. All the gifts that you've been given, close your eyes and listen to what your meant to be.

Olga's Rainbow

I heard the sound of voices in the night
Spellbound there was someone calling
I looked around no one was in sight
Pulled down I just kept on falling

I've seen this place before
You were standing by my side
I've seen your face before tonight
Maybe I just see what I want it to be

I know it's a mystery
Do you remember me on a Trail of Dreams
Running through my memory
On the Trail of Dreams

There you stood a distant memory
So good like we never parted
Said to myself I knew you'd set me free
And here we are right back where we started

Something's come over me
And I don't know what to feel
Maybe this fantasy is real
Now I know I see what I want it to be

But it's still a mystery
Do you remember me on the Trail of Dreams
Running through my memory
On the Trail of Dreams

Knowing every face I see on the Trail of Dreams
When will we ever meet again my friend, never know who you'll see
Do you know what it meant to be
You can be who you want to be
you are calling me
On the Trail of Dreams

JW

Well you know,
I was always the first to arrive at the party, ooh
And the last to leave the scene of the crime
Well it started with a couple of beers,
And it went I don't know how many years,
Like a runaway train headed for the end of the line

Well I finally got around to admit that I might have a problem
But I thought it was just too damn big of a mountain to climb
Well I got down on my knees and said hey
I just cant go on livin' this way
Guess I have to learn to live my life one day at a time

Well I finally got around to admit that I was the problem

When I used to put the blame on everybody's shoulders but mine
All the friends I used to run with are gone,
Lord, I hadn't planned on livin' this long
But I finally learned to live my life one day at a time

Big Nothing

This year is pretty much a wash, but in the New Year we could all stand to run a little farther. Some might believe that after 30 days of running we have created a habit of doing so. Seems like we can only reward ourselves to cover a bit of ground. Ok you stretch which you don't normally do and collect 1 mile, you do crunches, ok there's another mile for the log. After awhile maybe all those things with added bonuses to your log will get you doing what you always wanted to do. Same can be attributed to tripping over yourself to make for a decent change. Think of the endless possibilities and reward miles you will rack up. Ok then.... just keep doing what you've been doing and end up with NOTHING!

Hang in There My Friends!

 Sitting down tonight  to a guitar strum and:

Silent, wordless, everything was still. You breathed us, yearned for us. Our hearts began to thrill. A brand new creation. A symphony written from above, written out of love. Let me be your instrument, let me be your voice, let me be the reservoir. Where thirsty hearts rejoice, let me be the hand that wipes the tears away. Oh Lord, if it be your will. Let me be your song

A violin, a piano, each one has a role. Major or minor, or just a single note, so take the time to stay in tune. Cause we'll never know, when we're called to play. It could be today. A song of hope for the hopeless, a song of comfort for the pain, a song that warms the frozen heart that it might beat again.

For what am I but a single breath, that only you sustain the less I get in the way,
The more the master can let the music play
So let me be your instrument
Let me be your voice
Let me be the reservoir
Where thirsty hearts rejoice
Let me be the hand
That wipes the tears away
Oh Lord,
If it be your will
Let me be your song

Full of It

So you say life is unfair. They've got everything you wanted
And you're not even close to getting where you wish you could be.
You want to get the commendation love and adulation
But you're stuck here on your knees.
Are you happy, green eyed monster? Are you happy with your place?
What's the use of being haunted? Your story for glory is right there in your face
So be glad, you're an architect creation, you're one of a kind.
Just stay on track, because every cross can be a blessing
All the gifts that you've been given, close your eyes and listen
To who you're meant to be.
Don't feed the monster, wasting time comparing
Lose yourself despairing, I hear it, don't ya?
Hungry for our fight.
Are you happy?

• 
  

Heart Heavy

A little time, a little distance, a little space to think
Might be all we need, right now. I don't know if we've had too much
Or not enough, but, we've got to get over this, somehow
It only takes a breath or two to tear your world apart
Sticks and stones may break your bones but words can break your heart
Cutting words from careless lips, softly spoken, oh you can do damage and never scream and shout. Emotions get the best of us, we say things we don't mean.
And it's too late to take 'em back once they're out.
Oh, can we just start over?
Nobody won, what's done is done
We've got to let it go

The Trail Ahead

When I was a young boy roamin' on the railroad tracks

Put copper pennies on the rail, locomotive come and squash 'em flat

We'd run to fetch 'em back
Summer nights at Gran-ma's house cozy in my bed dreams of far-off places and other lives to be led, swirling in my head

And there's a train in the distance there's a whistle calling, silver moonlight falling

Now I am a grown man turning in my sleep, debts and obligations
Family ties run deep, promises to keep

You can ride that train to the far end of creation, away from everything and everyone you know, you better make friends with your angels and your demons, they will be riding with you wherever you may go, but you have to go

There's a train in the distance, there's a whistle calling,

 autumn leaves will be falling

Fred Astaire

I know you're disappointed, I can see it in your eyes
This isn't what you wanted and now you realize

I ain't no knight in shining armor who comes a-ridin' 'cross the lea

 Now, the merchants in the marketplace they're selling fantasy
It's a trick of light and shadow it's not reality
It's just a faded photograph of the man I used to be
You're lookin' for a younger man - not me

I knew the day I met you it was never gonna last

You're an angel from the future I'm an old devil from the past

So, trust me when I tell you this is the way it's meant to be

If you believe in better days ahead for this crazy human race
That we will somehow be delivered by goodness and by grace

And if you're lookin' for believers in faith and hope and charity

Then, you're lookin' for a younger man - not me

C

Got a message in my mailbox from an old friend I hardly ever see, all it said was you were trying to get a hold of me. I stared down at your number, and I felt passion and I felt fear. I wondered what the Hell you wanted after all the years? Cause there is danger in the embers, and I have only myself to blame, if I get burned when I try to rekindle that old flame.

C: Well I know we ended badly, and I was angry for a very long time. But I've grown some and I wanted you to know that I'm doing just fine. I'm not asking for a replay, I've got no delusions, got no designs. But can I borrow just a little cup of kindness for Auld Lang Syne?

Speak to me plain, tell me the truth. Is it me you really miss, or just your long lost youth?

Yeah there is danger in the embers, and you know nothing, nothing stays the same.
You can get burned when you try to rekindle that old flame.

AH HUN

Cats got your tongue
The jungle's won
Enemy lines trippin' your mama's son
But you say
You're keepin' us safe

In the hands
Of a god fearin' man
We turn our backs
he shakes the devils hand
I believe
We been deceived

Now you got her nylons in a rip
Runnin round tryin to make sense of it
Trying to grow flowers in your bullshit
You'd put out the sun if you got hold of it

Oh say can you see
The dawn of catastrophe
So many tears people down in the streets
Whatcha doin'
'Bout Kiddos Dreams

Pennies keep droppin
But nobody's stopping
You'll wash your hands and we'll be stuck with the problem
Sell the fear
Then disappear  NC

Payment

Some folks don't like workin' hard.

Some folks don't like rain

Some folks love to tell you 

all about their aches and pains.

Me, I take the hand I'm dealt

And I play it as it lays
It's the cost of living
And everyone pays

You can't live in memories
Of all your golden yesterdays
Or spend your whole life grieving
For the one that got away
Common sense says "let her go"
But your heart disobeys
It's the cost of living
And everyone pays

Blue shadows falling all around me
Still I don't regret a single day

I look in the mirror now
I see that time can be unkind
But I know every wrinkle
And I earned every line
So, wear it like a royal crown
When you get old and gray
It's the cost of living
And everyone pays
It's the cost of living
And everyone pays